Kill me now.
Post-party update:
The Christmas party went something like this…
We get to trendy restaurant a little early and sit down at the bar. Leslie’s coworker/friend Beverly is going on about this huge zit on her chin. She kept asking if we could see it. We tell her that we can’t, of course. Of course we could. How could we not? The damn thing had reshaped her profile. Her chin winked.
So we’re sitting at the bar. We being Les, myself and Zitgirl. I order us a drink. Les and I had already had the conversation about who would be drinking and who would be driving. We’re kind of particular about not orphanizing RZ.
So anyway we’re sitting at the bar, talking, making nice, and watching other’s from the office stroll in.
A few minutes pass, then this couple walk in. He’s looks normal enough. She… She’s wearing a tiara. And a prom dress (I shit thee not).
Fast forward to dinner.
Leslie’s buzzed. I know she’s buzzing because when she has a couple drinks she loses her “quiet voice”. Her whispers sound like she’s trying to talk through a Def Leppard concert. She doesn’t get rowdy, or out of hand. Just the opposite, she’s very nice and well behaved. She’s just happily amplified.
“I’M NOT A SMOOCHER. I’M NO BUTT SMOOCHER.” She “whispers” to me as I make hand gestures for her to turn down the volume.
So Tiara and her boyfriend are sitting across the table from us. ZitGirl is to Leslie’s right. We’re all making limited progress toward small talk. Everytime ZitGirl and I look at each other; I either act like I’m horrified and I can’t take my eyes off of that beast on her face, or slowly and quietly point to my chin while she’s talking. All the while Leslie is telling ghost stories so loud that I’m afraid the wine glasses are going to shatter.
Oddly enough we’re having a good time.
The only possible faux pas happened when I told Tiara that the whole Courtney Love thing she had going on was great. To which she replied…”Huh? Coat-neh? Coat-neh who?“
you love and adore her. some icky parties may this way come when you’re lucky enough to have a good wife. ask my husband. who is going to my first love’s wedding with my on saturday. the payback is generally good, yes?!
hahahaha! *i* have a tiara that i bust out with the slightest provocation so i love tiara girl!
and your description of leslie’s whisper is hilarious.
uh, glad you had such a great time !!
“It winked…” I’m spewing… “That beast on her face…” Parties/ Christmas parties? Its Dece 6, I’ve already been to three…3! Welcome to my hilarious Wally-Winking-World….sometimes its one beast-winking-night after another.
oh! do you watch ‘Family Guy’? probably banned in the south but so inappropriately hilarious. the kid, chris, had a zit last night that he named ‘doug’ who made him do all sorts of crazy stuff. good thing you didn’t know about *that* before you saw that woman! hahahaha
Did somebody say, Wally???? Man that was a looonnngg time ago. Sigh
That Courtney Love comment reminded me of the time I went stoned to a friend’s wedding and on the way out of the church I made some sort of comment to another guest/friend about her silver dress and dancing with Madonna (mind you I was in the glory of my hippie days). I was such a heathen. She must not’ve held it against me ’cause I got invited to her 39th birthday party last year and we were “Dancin’ Queens” (ABBA) together.