“We now rejoin our regularly scheduled program, now in progress.”
Well Thor hasn’t kicked my ass. Over a month later and I’m still going to the gym. I’ve already dropped five pounds and where there used to be manboobs now looks like a pair of steel Frisbees. Sorta. If you look at them in just the right (dim) light and squint.
My apologies for the drought of posts. I decided a long time ago that when I’m down, it’s best not to write. And more importantly it’s best not to write about being down.
Looks like tonight I’m probably going to break that rule. Although don’t be surprised if I delete this sucker in the near future!
Long story short… I’ve been depressed. Not suicidal or anything with any teeth or drama, but I haven’t been myself in well over a year. Thinking back, I’m pretty sure my mom’s death was the kick off point, but over the past several months– hell since January, I’ve been my own worst enemy.
Hanging with friends/relatives has been especially tough because I [am? was?] so disengaged. The more disengaged I felt, the more isolated I wanted to be. Leslie noticed. Even Kaly has asked me if I was going to be alright.
Creatively I’ve stopped dead in my tracks. This may sound odd but there have been days where it’s actually hard to talk, let alone write. Not to mention I’ve pretty much given up shooting, for pleasure anyway. I haven’t picked up the camera– just to shoot for fun– in months! If you go to my Flickr photostream I swear you’ll hear a lone wolf howl off in the distance.
Joining the gym was more psychological than physical. It was a change. An incredibly painful, praying for a visit from the Vicodin bunny, change at first, but one that may be doing some good.
Now that I’ve got that off my chest… my steel plated… rock solid… bronzed, chest-o’-glory, maybe this block will move on.
Depression stinks. I usually apply chocolate, which isn’t as productive as your pecs-of-steel program. Yay you for making a healthier choice
Sending all the good thoughts your way!
Hey man, I’ve missed ya. It was great to talk to you on my birthday, thanks for calling. Let’s do it again soon.
I could’a gone all day without reading about your manboobs
Glad your back!! I just joined a gym also (first time in my life) We’ll compare frisbees later! COOL!
Hang in there, my dear friend. I can relate to what you’re going through more than you know.
Maybe I should join a gym… hmmm…
Kind thoughts, good sir, kind thoughts.
Running has always been my surest escape (if there is such a thing as a ’surest escape’ from those damn demons), so I can certainly see the way the gym might help.
Besides. it has to get better eventually, because it always has in the past, and the alternative just isn’t worth thinking about.
Kind thoughts…
[hug]
stay strong. your daughter is insanely beautiful so you gotta be on your game.
does that help?!
xx